Treating emotional dependence through psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, in Paris 9th

As one of the main causes constituting a meeting with a psychotherapist in Paris and throughout France, emotional dependence can cause a lot of suffering, both for the patient from this relationship of dependence on others and for those who accompany them.

However, despite the multiple problems that result from emotional dependence, it can easily be confused with a privileged brand of love and attachment. The first step to get out of the vicious circle of affective dependence therefore consists in recognizing one's relationship of dependence on the other. And this is not so obvious. It is not uncommon for the emotionally dependent to deny the pathological dimension of his relationship with others by normalising it. For example, someone who is emotionally dependent can easily assimilate his dependence to a quality and thus recognize himself as someone who is “ passionate”, “too complete” or even "hypersensitive".

What are the signs of emotional dependence?

The term dependence alone illustrates the pathological and problematic dimension which is represented in the relationship with others. This addiction can result in a fear of being abandoned, jealousy, guilt, chronic dissatisfaction, an inability to assert oneself, a constant expectation of recognition and validation, a lack of self-esteem, etc.

How do you become emotionally dependent?

Emotional dependence is most often part of the diagnosis of neurosis. The latter finds its source in childhood. If the causes of the constitution of the neurosis are specific to each – which is discovered within the framework of a psychoanalysis – the infantilism which characterises infantile fixation is particularly manifest in affective dependence.

How to get out of emotional dependence?

Like other symptoms of neurosis, emotional dependence can be treated within the framework of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis . Thanks to the method of free associations, the patient will gradually discover the infantile causes of his neurosis and his affective dependence . It is the constitution of this knowledge on the cause of his emotional dependence which will allow the patient to get out of it and thus, to build a more mature and more peaceful relationship with himself and with others.

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How can we distinguish between the multiple techniques that aim to treat emotional dependence?

It is important to clearly distinguish the treatment of emotional dependence ( psychotherapy and psychoanalysis ) from the multiple “quick solutions” which come in the form of techniques, books or tutorials on the internet. Based on autosuggestion, these coaching modalities rely on the conditioning of thought. They aim to mentally convince yourself of your confidence and independence by repeating to yourself daily a certain number of key phrases and positive thoughts.

But convincing yourself that you are getting better does not mean you are actually getting better. These autosuggestion techniques cannot therefore be considered as ways of treating emotional dependence. And for good reason, instead of treating the source of emotional dependence, these techniques aim to delude oneself by convincing oneself daily that one is not dependent: if the illusion operates more or less as one repeats the same positive thoughts day after day, emotional dependence inevitably returns once the conditioning stops.

In other words, it is impossible to treat emotional dependence without treating what causes it, that is to say without treating its infantile roots: we cannot truly treat a symptom without treating what causes it.

How long does it take to get out of emotional dependence?

So, if psychotherapy is essential to truly get out of emotional dependence, it is important to specify that the effects of treatment can be quite rapid. Admittedly, the overall duration of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis may be several months – duration which varies according to the rhythm of the sessions and according to each person – but its benefits are identifiable from the first sessions: very quickly, the one who suffers from his affective dependence will identify the infantile dimension of his position and in doing so, he will take a certain distance with regard to the jealousy or the feeling of abandonment that he may feel: he will be able to position himself differently.

So, if you would like to know more about how to treat childhood dependence through psychotherapy and psychoanalysis , do not hesitate to contact me by telephone or make an appointment on the doctolib website.

Traduit du français par Olajumoke BALOGUN